Parenting from a Wheelchair

A Paraplegic Mom Shares How a Scuba Accident Transformed Her Life

Parenting From A Wheelchair

Lilly is nine months old and most of what she knows so far is that mom is everything. In time, she will realize that her mom is much more. Like many mothers, Lilly’s mom nurses her, reads her books, gives her baths, and takes her out for storytimes, play dates, and gym classes. But like far fewer moms, she does all that plus cooking and housework from her blue and white 38-pound carbon fiber wheelchair.

Chasity is a down-to-earth, southern girl next door. She married a young Marine at just 19, and they quickly found themselves in Okinawa. Over the course of a year, they pursued a variety of Japanese adventures including climbing Mount Fuji, snorkeling, and scuba diving. But even with a year of scuba experience and 20-30 dives, something went wrong on her final dive.

When a diver descends beyond a certain depth for a period of time, their body absorbs nitrogen from the compressed air inside their scuba tank. Once absorbed, the nitrogen must be “off-gassed” through exhalation slowly and steadily during a controlled ascent and ideally a “safety stop” before surfacing. If the dissolved nitrogen gas doesn’t have time to be released, it expands into bubbles inside the body, causing a phenomenon known as “the bends”.

At 130 feet, Chasity’s mask flooded, and she was disoriented. She felt like she was drowning, panicked, and shot to the surface. She exceeded the safe rate of ascent and skipped a crucial safety stop causing a severe case of the bends with the most devastating nitrogen bubble cutting off blood supply to her spinal cord. At 22, Chasity had become paralyzed meaning all movement and sensation below her chest was completely wiped out. Even with advances in medicine, Chasity’s injury is currently not reversible.

Recovering in the hospital, questions swirled in the back of her mind. Would she be able to drive a car again? Have a baby? Would her husband be there through it all? In the beginning, he was.

Chasity spent six exhausting months in physical and occupational therapy learning how she’d transfer in and out of a wheelchair and a car, how she’d dress and use the bathroom herself, how she’d walk with a walker and KAFOs (knee ankle foot orthoses), and how to protect her now very important shoulders for the long haul. Chasity was insatiable for new challenges in the rehab gym. “I wanted to be there all day working on getting ‘better’ whether that meant just getting stronger, better at different wheelchair skills, or actually back to walking.”

Chasity says it took a year or two post-injury to feel comfortable in her new body. Settling into her own home, earning her own money with a crafting hustle, and the forced independence a divorce brings all helped shape her self-acceptance and reclaim her confidence.

Now 30, Chasity has graduated with a degree in Recreation Therapy, attended the Invictus Wheelchair Games in Europe, and married her forever partner. This past year, Chasity and her husband Daniel welcomed a painfully adorable, absolute gift of a daughter, Lilly. Lucky parents. Lucky baby. You’ll smile for yourself if you watch their family ‘dancing in the rain’ TikTok video. Chasity may have been an old pro at living life in a wheelchair, but growing a human as a paraplegic is an extreme sport.

Pregnancy significantly impacted Chasity’s ability to mobilize due to the associated weight gain, hindering her transfer abilities. She was forced to switch to a lower vehicle and adapt her transfer technique. Where a non-paraplegic pregnant woman’s leg muscles offer at least some help in alleviating fluid buildup, Chasity’s did not. She spent a lot of time in leg compressors and slept with her legs significantly elevated.

Before she was induced, she received an epidural to quell any risk of autonomic dysreflexia—a condition common in spinal cord injury in which blood pressure skyrockets in response to an (unperceived) painful stimulus. Another round of physical therapy helped train Chasity for delivery, and using a mirror to visualize the birth helped a lot, she says.

You may be wondering how a mom in a wheelchair navigates a baby-proofed house, takes a baby on outings, or moves a baby in and out of a crib. Chasity and husband Daniel made custom baby gates that slide rather than swing to accomodate Chasity’s wheelchair, and Chasity drives a hand controlled vehicle. For solo outings, she disassembles and reassembles her wheelchair next to the open car door and loads it in and out in pieces— a task that must feel hours long when baby is screaming from the backseat. With some initial help from her physical therapist, Chasity has perfected a safe one-handed lifting technique to get baby on and off the floor and in and out of the crib and highchair, bracing with her opposite arm for balance. Chasity loads and unloads the dishwasher, vaccums, tidies up, even rolls the garbage cans to and from the curb if needed, all with Lilly on her lap.

While it may sound incredible to the average person, for Chasity, these adaptations are simply normal. When I inquire, she’s quick to downplay the extra challenges, stating nonchalantly, “I believe the only adaptations we’ve had to make so far are keeping the closet door open and using a boppy (circular nursing pillow) to carry her and change diapers in.” Also, “managing night wakings is the easy part because Lilly sleeps next to me so I don’t physically get up to feed her.” This woman is tough as nails.

What Chasity most wants others to know is that, while it’s definitely not easy navigating life and motherhood with a spinal cord injury, it gets better. You CAN make the most of it. Chasity, Daniel, and sweet Lilly are a perfect example of this.

Chasity is an open book and has graciously agreed to answer questions about her life and journey. Curious minds may submit questions and sentiments for Chasity and her family to @drkatpt. You can also find Chasity showcasing her adapted mom skills on TikTok @ChasityandLilly.